


Lost in Translation

by AmaVix, xcuteikinz



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Amethyst is a romance guru, Awkward Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, F/F, Fluff, pearl how much more oblivious can you get
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:59:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4989397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmaVix/pseuds/AmaVix, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcuteikinz/pseuds/xcuteikinz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garnet tries to express her feelings for Pearl.. although her way of doing it isn't really getting through to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in Translation

  
    It all started with a book Steven received from his father back when he was grounded from television. A book on pick-up lines, innocent enough at the time. Chuckling, he flipped through the pages. He could understand most of them, but some of them were… Strange, to say the least. One in specific caught his eye, though. His curiosity got the best of him, and he decided to call upon Amethyst for an explanation.  
    Holding the book in his hands, he approached Amethyst.  
    “Hey, Amethyst.”   
    “Oh, hey Steven! What’s up?” Amethyst said after taking a bite of a hamburger.   
    Steven held up the book and pointed to one of the pick up lines. “Could you tell me what this means?”   
    Setting down her burger, she inspected the page and read aloud. “There are 206 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?”   
    She looked up at Steven, and her eyes widened in surprise, trying to contain her laughter.   
    “STEVEN!” Her raspy voice yelled. “Where’d you find this book?!”  
    The boy shuffled his feet awkwardly, suddenly developing a feeling that he should have just left this question unanswered. “Well,” he started sheepishly, “It was in the box of books dad gave me!”   
    The purple gem flipped through the book, skimming through pick up lines. “If you were a vegetable.. you’d be a cute cumber,” she read more. “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.” She set the book down and laughed. “Steven, these pick-up lines are TERRIBLE.”   
    “Aww, Amethyst. I thought they were funny!” Steven pouted. “Especially the alphabet one.”   
    “No, no no, Steven,” Amethyst said, throwing the book behind her. “If you wanna hear some GOOD pick up lines, then I can tell you some.”  
     Steven’s eyes lit up like stars with excitement. “Really?!” He was practically jumping up and down with excitement until Amethyst put an arm over his shoulder.   
    “Aww yeah, prepare to learn from the master.”   
    With that, the two of them scampered off, leaving the book of pick-up lines behind.

  
______________________________________________________________________________

   

    With a flash of light, Garnet stepped off of the warp pad. A quick glance around the room told her that the house was empty. As she was about to step into the temple doors, she stepped on something. She looked down at the offending object and noticed that it was a book that had been cast aside for one reason or another (most likely by Amethyst, she noted). If Pearl saw this on the floor rather than on the shelf where it belonged, she would probably have an aneurysm.  She was about to set the book on the shelf, but she stopped to inspect it, a little intrigued by the title: 1,200 Pick-Up Lines. Rather than setting the book down in it’s rightful place, she strode over to the couch with it and took a seat.  
   Upon skimming the first few pages, she discovered that the book was complete and utter stupidity. How did humans think that these lines could possibly improve their chances of finding a mate, when they were just so poorly written? As she read deeper and deeper into the book, the lines got more and more ridiculous.  These could never work. Nope. Not ever. And she definitely wasn’t thinking about trying it out. Not at all.  
    And that was the biggest lie ever told. In fact, she wanted to try it out on someone who she had recently been harbouring feelings for. Someone who, coincidentally enough, just stepped out of the temple doors. When she heard the doors opening, she panicked and bubbled the book, sending it to the basement.   
    “Hello, Garnet,” Pearl said, inspecting the room.   
    “Hi.” Garnet said, crossing her legs.   
    “Where are Steven and Amethyst?” The pale one asked. Garnet simply shrugged.   
    “Pearl,” She began.   
    “Yes?” She asked, nervously. Did I do something wrong? She thought to herself. The look on Garnet’s face was making her a little unsettled.   
    Garnet looked as if she was about to speak, but couldn’t articulate what she wanted to say.   
    “Garnet… did I do something?” Pearl gulped.   
    “What?” Her eyes widened in shock. “No, no, you didn’t do anything, I just-” Taking a deep breath, Garnet finally worked up the nerve to say what she wanted to. In a loud voice, she said, “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”  
    The silence that cut through the room was stifling.  
    “I… Umm,” Pearl tried to find a way to express the sheer confusion she was experiencing. “I don’t quite understand what you mean..”  
    Sighing, Garnet adjusted her visor and gave a poker face, walking stiffly out of the house as fast as possible. Pearl stood there for a moment, completely befuddled by what had just happened, before going into her room in the temple.  
    When Garnet walked outside, she was greeted by Amethyst and Steven on the porch.   
The two smaller gems stared up at the larger gem.   
    “Garnet..” Amethyst said, trying to break the tension. “Were you just trying to…”  
Garnet shook her head and walked away before Amethyst could finish. The farther from Amethyst and Steven she got, the faster she ran.   
    
    Feeling determined, Garnet decided to try again the next day. The result was almost the same.  Down in the temple’s basement, the tall gem was looking through the book of terrible pick-up lines, hoping that she could find one adequate enough to use on Pearl. Telling her directly how she felt would be too hard, so she decided to just stick with pick-up lines, as indirect as they are. Sometimes, though, Pearl is so oblivious it hurts.  
    Garnet gave it another go during their next mission. Pearl and Garnet were walking in front of the group. They were in a cave consisting of a dark red rock. It was completely silent, except for the eerie ambiance of the cave. Pearl, out of habit, had her arm wrapped around Garnet’s. In an attempt to isolate them from the rest of the gems, Garnet began speed walking.   
    “So, Pearl..” Garnet’s voice trailed off as she spoke. She wanted to sound more relaxed so she didn’t worry Pearl like last time.   
    “Yes, Garnet?”   
    “Are you a magician? Because whenever I’m with you, everyone else disappears.”   
    The shorter gem blinked, and looked up at Garnet in confusion. “I’m sure the reason it seems like everyone else disappeared is because you just sprinted ahead of them.” She gave a weak smile. As if on cue, a shout arose from behind them.   
    “Hey, can you slow down? Not all of us have long legs!”  
    “Ahaha, race ya Amethyst!”  
    “You’re on, squirt!”  
    The two smaller gems whooped and laughed as they ran, and Garnet couldn’t help but chuckle fondly at their excitement. She could have sworn that Pearl gave a contented sigh and scooted a little closer into her side as they continued onward.   
      
     Back in the basement, Garnet toyed with the idea of a third try. Sure, Steven and Amethyst would be around, but after Pearl’s reaction to her last two tries, it didn’t seem like she’d catch on. Maybe she just needed a more straight-forward pick-up line. She desperately flipped through the book. Looking through this book to help her maintain her love life made her feel a little pathetic. Her train of thought was interrupted by Amethyst.  
     “Heyyyy, G, what’cha reading?”  
     Garnet froze. She was so wrapped up in finding the perfect line, she didn’t even notice the probability of Amethyst popping in.  
     “Wait, waitwaitwait, is that the pick-up line book?!”  
     “Uh.”  
     “It IS, isn’t it?!” Amethyst laughed, “Garnet, have you been flirting with Pearl using THESE pick-up lines?”  
    The tall gem groaned, and hid her face in her hands. Of all people, it just HAD to be Amethyst to catch her in the act. Great, Pearl would know of her crush in a matter of minutes now. With the most serious look on her face, she finally spoke. “Amethyst, you better not tell anyone.”  
     “Oh, no I won’t-”   
     Garnet relaxed.   
     “...On one condition!”  
     Oh god. “...Okay, what is it.” She adjusted her visor.   
    “YOU have to let me help you.” Amethyst gave a grin that would put the chesire cat to shame.   
    “How do you mean?” She crossed her arms.   
    “I have a pick-up line that is guaranteed to work.”   
    Garnet heaved a sigh and gave in. “It better.”  
     Amethyst squealed excitedly and began to whisper the plan into Garnet’s ear.  
  
     Garnet took a deep breath to steady herself when Pearl warped into the room. She glanced over at Amethyst, who gave her a thumbs up- she could practically hear the purple gem shouting ‘you got this, G!’  
     A flash of blue surrounded the room as Pearl warped in. When she noticed Garnet sitting on the couch, she tensed up a bit, not really looking forward to another awkward encounter. Despite herself, she stepped off of the warp pad and nodded a greeting to Garnet, preparing herself for whatever was to come. Judging on the grin Amethyst was wearing, it wasn’t going to be pleasant.   
    “Hello.” Garnet said, looking stoic as ever.   
    “Hello, Garnet,” Pearl sighed. As much as she enjoys Garnet’s company, these recent encounters have been making her a little uncomfortable. Was this some sort of psychological game? Did she do something wrong? Was Garnet trying to tell her something?                                                               
     Garnet got up from the couch and walked over to Pearl.   
    “Pearl,” Garnet sighed, and took off her visor, looking her straight in her eyes that seemed to be sparkling. “If I could reach out and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.”  
     Pearl was silent for a few seconds.  
     “Garnet,” she sighed, “Look. I- I have no clue what you are trying to do here! None of this is making any sense! You can’t HOLD stars, they’re balls of gas, and they’re- Argh!” Pearl groaned and flopped down onto the couch, resting her head in her hands in the process. “I’m so confused! Is this some kind of human game or something?! What are you trying to tell me??”  
    Amethyst, who was sitting in a chair by the counter, was munching on popcorn and trying hard to contain her laughter. This was such a horrible scenario. Pearl’s obliviousness was too much.     
    “Pearl!” Garnet said, holding her face in her hand. “What I’m trying to tell you is..” She grabbed Pearl’s arms, pulling her off of the couch. “I don’t need future vision to see you in my future.”   
    “Wha-” Pearl started, but was interrupted by Garnet’s lips pressed firmly to hers. And in that very moment, everything clicked in Pearl’s mind as she melted into the kiss. She was FLIRTING with her this whole time! When the kiss finally broke, the shorter gem spoke up.  
    “Garnet,” she looked up at her and whined. “Next time, could you try being a little more direct? That way, maybe I could reciprocate?”  
    Garnet grinned. “Does that mean I can continue on flirting with you?”  
    “You can continue doing much more than that,”  
    “GET A ROOM!” Amethyst yelled, with a fake gagging noise.  
The two other gems looked away, and Pearl and kissed Garnet again.

   


End file.
